what's wrong with women?

We always say that when women get together, there is trouble. We start to compare, and each of us want to be superior than the other. We complain that men never know us. But as a woman, why we never sympathize for our fellow women, unless they are way better or way worse than us that we already figured out there is no chance we can be at the same level?

What's wrong with us, women?

Last few weeks I have been followed by some random people in the street. At first I ignored them, begging them to go away when realizing I would not talk to them- and they did. Yet it did not always work. The case that came to my attention was last Wednesday around 9pm, I was walking back home from school. While this guy started to follow me on C st., I told myself I over thought. Then, at each following intersection, he would ask turn left? turn right? At first I thought he was just talking to himself until at one intersection I looked into the window of a shop, and from the reflection, he was really leaning to me and facing me asking whether to take a left or right. I was so freaked out and changed my pace. However, it did not work. I was mentally struggling what to do, should I call 911? But apparently he did not do anything illegal, and if he had, it would be too late to wait for 911. So I stopped at G st., where my home located, and pulled out my phone from the backpack, attempting to call my friend- I could not think of anything else to do. He then realized I caught him. So he stopped as well, staring at me and cursing me. I turned around and went another way. In the next few blocks, I met him again. This time, there was another guy with his friends walking towards me and he told me, "Miss, you've been followed." I looked at him almost helplessly, "I know. What can I do?" Oddly enough, the stalked disappeared.

So I started to concern about my safety. I never want some stalkers or random people to know where I live. I posted this concern online where only people from my community can get access to. So at first they referred me some walking escort service and some even offered to walk with me if time matches. Well, there were others starting a discussion on whether to call 911 and telling me that these "stalkers" identified by me did not do anything illegal. I mean, I know. I just wanted to get some advice on walking escorts. If this does not work, I will find out another way- not like I am saying I want police to arrest all those stalkers. The most interesting part is that, at today's lunch break, I guess people were being too available, they started to question me how I define a stalker. They were even making themselves to be kind by saying "obviously this girl is still very young and believes every person walking around her were stalking her"- yes, young as if I was born yesterday (then I would admire myself for the ability to type and walk at the age of 1- day old). I mean, really?

Gladly enough, there were other people clarifying for me saying that I just do not want to feel threatened when walking at night.

Yes, you are right. People questioning me were all women, no exception. Well, sure, there were women backing me up as well. But seriously? As a woman, we know more than men how it feels when there is another man at night walking behind you, especially for 6 blocks, and curse you? I can never forget the way he looked at me, the anger, the shame.

We, women, want our voice to be heard, and we happen to be those that stop ourselves. Interesting enough huh? How can we change this male dominant society if we are not respecting other women?

Why do we all love jerks?

Has it ever occurred to you that one day you woke up, you feel like life is going so smoothly and so well that you are starting to freak out?

When we are available, we complain not having someone to share intimacy. When we are seeing someone, we cannot stop spotting his bad. And here comes the worst thing, when we have a choice.

When we are seeing several guys in a row, we compare them and maybe think about which to put more attention on.

- He is cute and loving.
- He is rich and I like the sex with him.
- He is a jerk but there is something with him that I just can't get over.

Yes, that is the case. A good catch can never beat a jerk. We meet the perfect man in the daytime and at the end of the day, we just feel there is something missing and all we can think of is that jerk. So, here goes the devil's hotline. When he picks up the call and says he would be coming over, we cannot help but making ourselves look cool before he comes- airbrush, candles, scents, music, red.... Hmmm, what if he does not pick up the phone? We text. While we are waiting, we think about all his good. Maybe we don't like him being too aggressive, too blunt, and too irresponsible. But so what? He makes moves because he wants me badly, which means he cares and likes me. He does not have enough time but we had fun...

When he texts back, oh my god, we go crazy. He says yes- we continue to make hair, choose dresses.... He says no- we ask and try to figure out a time to meet. Our desire just gets stronger and stronger and so we tell ourselves that we hate this man in the day but we eventually want to sleep with him- that's love.

It takes time for us to realize, or well, to face the truth. Then we find out he is totally a jerk. But what does that matter? We will find the next jerk and probably we love this jerk at some point. Yes, we find the right jerk.

So you ask me why do we all love jerks? Because we don't want easy. Honey it is that simple. You want to avoid jerks? You need to change the default then.